


Tattered Sails

by starofhemera



Series: Tied Ship [2]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, Broken, Hurt, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 09:25:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5622064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starofhemera/pseuds/starofhemera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequel to Tied Ship: The answer to "What happened between Yunho and Changmin?"</p><p>For a moment, Shim Changmin looked like that fifteen year old boy again and Yunho wanted to hug him and tell him it’s okay. But it wasn’t.  They had to acknowledge that. So he turned his back, avoiding the sight of his broken Changminnie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tattered Sails

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys! This is the prequel to Tied Ship. I promised to write its sequel but it's not done yet sooo... For now, let's really find out why Yunho and Changmin broke up in the first place.

 

“ Changmin-ah!” Yunho called out to Changmin from the bedroom with a wide smile on his face. Changmin’s sweat was dripping all over his body. He was exercising in the next room when he heard Yunho screamed his name.

“What?” He heaved, brows crunched up in annoyance.

“ Look! Umma sent us an invitation for dinner at Christmas!” Yunho shoved his phone on Changmin’s face. There was a message from Mrs. Jung asking them to join them for dinner this Christmas where the whole Jung clan will be present.  With a smile on his face and hopeful eyes, he pleaded, “Come with me?”

Changmin stopped wiping his forehead and dropped his shoulder.  “Do I have to?”

Yunho’s smile dimmed a little. “I would love you there.”

Changmin rubbed his temples.  “Yun, we’re going to Gwangju for a Christmas dinner?” Yunho nodded and the younger man rolled his eyes. “Really? Do you know how long it will take to go from here to there? Might as well go overseas.”

Yunho’s smile was gone now and his brow furrowed as he tried to convince his partner, voice, a little bit worried.” But Min, we’re not just going to Gwangju. We’re going to meet my family for a Christmas dinner. Wouldn’t it be nice?”

Changmin stood up from the bed, opened the cabinet door to retrieve his vitamins. “Can we go somewhere else? I don’t really feel spending the holidays in the country side.”

A little bit disheartened yet still not losing hope, Yunho tried to sway Changmin into coming with him.

“I know you’re a city man but it’s an opportunity for them to meet you.”

Letting out a chuckle of sarcasm, the younger man faced Yunho. “We’ve been band mates for years. I think I’ve seen your family enough.”

At Changmin’s answer, Yunho felt a little sad. The younger man obviously does not like the country but sometimes, Yunho wonders if it’s really Gwangju that he hates or if he dislikes Yunho’s family too. The younger man was closer to Kyuhyun’s family than Yunho’s. He doesn’t really show any interest to know about the Jungs and that really saddens Yunho.

“I know but I never officially introduced you to them as my boyfriend. Wouldn’t it be nice to do it this time?”

 “Do you have to?”

Taken aback, Yunho cried out, “Why, yes! Of course!” He looked at Changmin who was organizing his things on the bedside table. Eyes downcast, he asked, “Don’t you think so?”

Closing the drawer, Changmin turned to his hyung. Annoyance was etched all over his face and Yunho wonders if he really is that annoying.  

“Yunho, your dad does not feel comfortable with your sexuality in the first place and he will never do.”

Hurt flashes on to Yunho’s eyes but the younger man seemed to not notice. Yunho had long known and accepted that it would take a miracle for his father to accept him as he is but it doesn’t make it hurt less to hear it. Actually it hurt more when that fact came from Changmin himself.

Changmin’s voice was firm. “Introduce me to him and he will kill me.”

He might be oblivious sometimes but Jung Yunho is not stupid. “I know. He’d kill me too. In fact, he’d kill me first if it comes down to it.” Yunho took Changmin’s hands on to his own.  “But if we’re just going to be scared about it all the time then Changdollie, we’re always going to hide what we have.”

Pulling his hand back, Changmin got up and head to the balcony but not before saying, “Maybe that’s the wiser choice.”

Yunho’s heart broke a little. For a moment, he kept quiet.  It’s as if Changmin saying that if their relationship get exposed, he would not fight for it, so it is better be hidden because it is easier that way. Yunho knows that it is but Jung Yunho is willing to take the difficult road and fight to the death for the chance to love Shim Changmin freely and without fear. But the latter did not seem to have the same sentiments.

“Look, if you want go to Gwangju to have dinner with your family, go. But think of what you’re proposing. You’re going to put us at risk.”

Trying to hold his tears back, Yunho asked gently. “Can’t you just go with me as Shim Changmin my band mate?”

Changmin sighed.  “Fine.” Yunho’s face threatened to break into a smile but Changmin’s next words stopped it. “But I’ll leave the next morning. I can’t stand the country.”

Head bowed, Yunho started fiddling with the blanket. He thought it would be easy since it was just supposed to be three days. Changmin can do three days.

“You could at least try.” Changmin just rolled his eyes at this so Yunho continued. “It’s nice up there.” With his voice just above a whisper, he pleaded, “I don’t want to leave the next morning.”

“You remain there and I’ll go. I’ll meet up with my high school friends in the afternoon anyway.” Changmin started walking to the bathroom door. Disheartened but still trying to remain hopeful, Yunho put on his cutesy voice and widened his eyes as he stopped Changmin from going in the bathroom.

“Couldn’t you postpone it some other time? Please Changmin-ah. Your friends live in Seoul you can see them anytime. I only get to see my parents three times a year at most.”

Changmin glared at him. “No means no, Yunho. Okay? Stay there if you want. I’m leaving the next day.” He stepped to the side, opened the bathroom door and closed it at Yunho’s face.

“Okay.”

Jung Yunho went back to the bed. Silent tears fell as he slept. The two of them went to Gwangju. For the time he was there, Changmin was displeased at everything no matter how much Yunho tried to please him. He remained distant with the Jungs and against Yunho’s requests he left the next day morning. Yunho stayed for another two days while Changmin partied with his high school friends.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Yunho ran like the hounds of hell were chasing him. He made the mistake of getting out of his car and being spotted by screaming fangirls who suddenly made it their life goal to chase after him. But the traffic was bad and before that, he was already late. Glancing at his watch, he shut his eyes and cursed himself. He had to run faster or Changmin was going to be so angry.

Changmin was furious.

The first time he did as a sweaty, panting Yunho arrived at the restaurant, was yell at him.

**“WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?”**

Yunho jumped. He looked around, hoping anyone would not notice. But apparently, Changmin’s voice was loud and clear enough to be heard. Yunho felt embarrassed.

“ I’m sorry, Changmin-ah. It slipped my mind. I’m so—“

“ You forgot about it? **HOW THE HELL DID YOU FORGET ABOUT IT?** You were supposed to meet me here at 6. You should know! **THIS WAS YOUR IDEA!**

Yunho could hear people murmuring. Shutting his eyes before opening them and looking at Changmin, he hoped the younger man would just let it go.

“I’m really sorry Changmin. I was very busy today. I didn’t realize it’s already 8. I really thought it’s still 5.”

Sighing and mouth set on a thin line, Changmin asked coldly. “Do you have a watch? A clock?”Exasperated he tried not to scream, “God Yunho! “

Yunho did not know if he would like to cry from embarrassment or from Changmin’s harsh treatment. Maybe, both. He swallowed his pride and inwardly chastised himself for being dumb. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Come on. Let’s sit down. I know you’re hungry.” He sat on the chair, hoping the younger man would sit too but Changmin was still standing, glaring at him.

“Forget it. I waited for two hours I lost my appetite.”

Yunho stand up abruptly. “But Changmin---“

“Eat by yourself.”

 Just like that, Shim Changmin walked out. Yunho noticed the judgmental stares from everybody. Good thing they were both disguised enough to at least not be recognized as U-Know and Max. But it did not make it less humiliating.

He decided it would be better if he left. He went home. Changmin was not there. He did not know whether to be relieved or sad. But he was sure he did not want to eat. So he went to bed and tried to get a shut eye. When Changmin arrived, Yunho pretended to be in deep slumber. It was only when he could hear the other’s soft snores that he finally fell asleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Yunho was not the best in knitting. He knew that. But it was Changmin’s birthday soon and they had different schedules now so they would not be together on the latter’s birthday. Yunho was confused what to get his boyfriend. Changmin already have what he wants and needs. There was nothing in the world that Yunho would buy that Changmin could not buy for himself. But since Changmin would be in Japan where it would be cold, Yunho decided to give him something to warm him up during the cold nights. And nothing beats a present that comes from hard work and perseverance.

Yunho decided to knit him a sweater. He was a bit disappointed that it did not turn out as pretty as he would like but at he thought it was decent enough. Yunho honestly thought that the color would complement Changmin’s pale skin. It was not the best in the world but it was the best that Yunho could do.

“Changminnie! Look! Look! I made you a sweater!” He presented his gift to the man seated at the corner, busy reading some book. Yunho hoped Changmin would at least like it. He was tired for days making it for him.

Contrary to the big smile Yunho hoped to get in return, Changmin looked at it like it was the saddest thing he had seen his entire life. “ Were your eyes closed when you made that?”

Yunho felt a twinge of pain in his heart. “Is it that ugly?”

Changmin let out a sigh. “Thanks for that, hyung. Just put it on my table. It’ll be a good rag.”

Yunho turned around and headed to the bedroom, tears falling from his eyes which went unnoticed by the other man. “I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time.”

Before he could shut the bedroom door, Yunho heard Changmin say, “Don’t sweat it. Just stick to dancing.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Changmin-ah, careful!”

Yunho was lucky to have grabbed Changmin’s arm before the latter could face plant into the glass center table of their living room. Thirty minutes ago, Yunho received a call from Minho asking to get Changmin. Thanked God he did because as it turned out, the maknae was way drunk to be driving. Yunho hauled him into the car while the latter was slipping further into intoxication.

Slurring, Changmin asked loudly, “Am I home? Geez. I’m home!” Chuckling like an idiot, he continued to sway the both of them while bumping into things.

Yunho smiled as he struggled to make Changmin stand up so they could walk to the bedroom.

“Yes you are. And you’re drunk.” He heaved as he pulled Changmin up again when the latter’s knees gave out. “God, you’re heavy.”

“ Issh fun to drink!”

“Okay. Gosh! You’re really heavy.”

“ You” the maknae pointed at Yunho and looked at him straight. Or at least he tried to. “should go out and drink. Have a little fun!”

 Trying to regain their balance, Yunho adjusted Changmin’s arm around his neck and pulled him closer. “I have fun. I’ll eat with Hojun-hyung and go out with Heechul, spend time with Bo---“

“Wow! Just wow!” Changmin started clapping. He looked so out of it Yunho wondered if they would ever make it to the bedroom. “Are you thirty?Or shiixty?”

He was slurring his every word and if Yunho would tell him that when he was sober, Changmin would tell him he would never slur even when drunk.

Chuckling at his lover’s current state, Yunho playfully said, “Well sorry if I don’t drink like you.”

Changmin stopped walking, looked at Yunho again. Yunho knew he was drunk but it did not make his next words hurt less. “Remind me why I’m with you again. Those whores are more fun than you.”

Rage clawed at Yunho with that statement before pain settled in. He removed Changmin’s arm from his body and let him drop to the floor. “You should have stayed with those whores then. “

Changmin woke up the next morning on living room floor. His limbs were aching and he had one of the worst hang-overs in his life. He also had a vague recollection of what happened the night before. That day, Yunho had emerged with red-swollen eyes and left the apartment. He did not talk to Changmin for five days.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Yunho grabbed Changmin’s arm, nails digging into the latter’s skin. He knew it must have hurt by the way Changmin was gritting his teeth. He tightened it to make sure Changmin felt the pain. Yet still, knowing the latter was in physical pain did nothing to soothe his raging anger.  Clenching his free fist, he repeated. “ Heechul saw you. Who was that woman?”

Changmin was unrelenting. He returned Yunho’s glare with his equally icy one. “What brilliant lies did that weirdo put in your gullible head again, hmm?”

Yunho was going to burst. “Who was that woman Changmin? The one you went to a love motel with?”

In mockery, Changmin smirked. “What? You’re following me now?”

**“JUST TELL ME WHO THE FUCK THAT IS!”**

“It’s none of your business!” Changmin yelled as he yanked his arm out of Yunho’s grip.

“What’s wrong with you?” Tears were threatening to fall. Yunho wanted to slap himself for needing to cry. He would not cry. At least, not in front of this man who was starting to shed him into pieces without mercy.

 “I’m perfectly fine. What’s wrong with you? Seriously Jung Yunho, get a life.”

Yunho felt like he was looking at a complete stranger. Like this was not his Changmin. Changmin would never say that to him. Changmin would not want to hurt him. Yunho wanted the man in front of him to laugh at his face and tell him it was all a joke and that the real Changmin was somewhere and was just playing a prank on him. He wanted to believe Changmin would never do this.

““Who are you?”

The younger man turned his back on him and stayed silent. And the longer Yunho looked at him he knew that it was the same Shim Changmin right there. He knew he was deluding himself into thinking that this was just Changmin’s impostor and not him. He was a love fool yes. But he was not stupid.

Breaking the uncomfortable silence, Changmin muttered. “She didn’t mean anything, okay? She was just some girl in the club and I was drunk. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Yunho snorted. Floored at the statement he just heard. “That’s your defense? That you were drunk?”

Changmin stood up, turned around to face Yunho and threw his hands in surrender. “Fine! I’m sorry. Is that what you want me to say?”

Numb with pain, Yunho uttered the first thing he could think of.  “I’ll be at Hojun’s place.“

 

 

* * *

 

 

Yunho was lying on the bed, feeling a little bit dizzy. He felt a headache coming. He wanted to get up and get dressed like Changmin but every time he try to stand, he felt like he was going to fall. Suddenly, the world was upside down and the next thing he knew, he was losing his balance.

Two weeks ago, Changmin confessed to cheating. It did not matter to Yunho if he were drunk that time. He cheated. That was it. Period. He thought he was going to die when he learned that it was not the first time Changmin did that. Yunho wanted to kill him at that moment but then again, the pain it would bring would even be more unbearable that the thought of him cheating. He cried his heart out to his Hojun-hyung. Heechul stayed with him too and he was more quiet than usual. Heechul’s silence made Yunho afraid for Changmin. Heechul was pissed beyond belief and he knew if he asked him to castrate Shim Changmin, he would happily do it. Well, Kim Heechul loves him like family and so the reaction was quite understandable.

Which is why he stormed out of the room and called Yunho a ‘hopeless idiot’ when the latter decided to forgive Changmin and went back to their apartment. Changmin was glad they decided to put the past behind them, except that he was rarely home. He rarely had time to make it up to Yunho.

“What are you doing? Get up. Party’s in an hour.” Changmin was dressed elegantly. Every single thing he wore looked like it was tailored for him. Tonight was Sungmin’s engagement party. They both said they would come. However, Yunho did not think it would be wise considering how sick he feels right now.

So with a sheepish look on his face, he implored. “Do we really have to go?”

Changmin looked at him sharply.  

“Are you kidding? You want to back out on this? I’ve already told Kyu I’d see them there.”

Yunho sat up. “I know. But, I’m feeling a bit dizzy.”

Changmin’s mouth was set on a grim line. “Really now? That’s your excuse?” Rolling his eyes, he barked, “Just get dressed.”

Feeling offended by the implication, Yunho said defensively.

“ I’m not acting, Changmin. I really don’t feel well.”

Changmin huffed in annoyance as he fixed his bow tie.

 ”That’s what you’ve been saying for these past days Yunho. Geez. Come up with another one.”

Yunho felt attacked. He gripped the bedside table as he stood up. Voice rising, he asked, “You think I’m faking it?”

 “Come on. You’re not really a good actor. It’s obvious you’re perfectly fine.”

Changmin was mocking him. He was insulting him! He felt like the world was going to roll like a ball and Changmin just did not care at all!

Yunho burst out in rage. Changmin will not do this to him anymore.

**“YOU JUST SEE WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE! IF YOU’VE BEEN HERE FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS YOU MIGHT SEE CLEARLY JUST HOW UNWELL I AM! BUT YOU WEREN’T HERE, SO HOW WOULD YOU SEE THAT? OH THAT’S RIGHT! YOU WERE BUSY FUCKING BEHIND MY BACK!”**

Changmin was angry now. “Really? That’s all this is about? We’re not even married yet and you already want to me to act like I’m officially tied to you?”

**“WELL YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT BECAUSE I WON’T MARRY YOU ANYWAY!”**

 Changmin stiffened for a little bit before he regained his composure and huffed.

“Geez. This is pathetic. If you don’t want to go, then don’t. But I’m going. You are going to choke me to death.”

Yunho squeezed his eyes shut. No. He will not cry. He will try his best not to cry even if what he was going to do would break his heart like it had never been broken before. Before he lost the courage, he did what he thought he should done a long time ago. 

“Well, you can freely breathe now. I’m tired of holding on to this relationship anyway.”

Eyes widening and body stiffening, Shim Changmin looked he had just been doused in ice cold water.

 “What?”

He could hear Changmin’s voice shaking. But then again, his might be even worse.

“I’m tired of being your emotional punching bag.”

Yunho could see Shim Changmin shaking as he approached him. He tried to reach out but Yunho avoided it. He did not need the tenderness and the pleas now. He had to stand up and leave this. He was so tired of being heartbroken all the time. He had to do this. He owes this to himself.

“Yunho, you can’t---“

He would admit that he feels a certain kind of satisfaction hearing Changmin’s voice break.

“I can’t what?”

Tears were threatening to fall from the other man’s eyes and for a moment, Yunho was reminded of that wide eyed awkward boy he loved very much.  “No. No. You can’t do this.”

For a moment, Shim Changmin looked like that fifteen year old boy again and Yunho wanted to hug him and tell him it’s okay. But it wasn’t.  They had to acknowledge that. So he turned his back, avoiding the sight of his broken Changminnie.

Fighting to be strong for himself, he told him, “I don’t think you have the right to tell me what to do.”

“Tell me you’re not breaking up with me.”

He was pleading. Maybe if this was done a week earlier, he might have been swayed. But Changmin was a week late.

Pretending to regain his composure, Changmin said, “You know what. You’re tired. Get some sleep, Yunho-ah.”

A smile graced Yunho’s lips. It had been a while since Changmin called him “Yunho-ah” so gently. Letting out a breath, he battled with his heart. _No. Enough is enough._

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“No! You don’t mean that! You don’t mean that. I know I’m not the best boyfriend in the world but you can’t--You can’t leave me.”

Sobs started to come out of Shim Changmin. He realized he had been asleep for long and this was the worst wake- up call one could ever imagine. He launched himself at Yunho’s back and hugged him as tight as he could.  “I love you.”

Yunho could feel Changmin’s tears soaking his shoulders. There were only three times that the younger cried. Yunho hated to see him cry. His hands wanted to wipe his tears away. Instead, he clenched them into fists. _Be strong. Walk away._

“I haven’t felt loved for a while now.”

Changmin hugged him tighter. “I’m sorry.”

And he was truly sorry. It was a sincere apology. Yunho felt that. _Yet….._

He pried Changmin off him and amidst the throbbing of his head, he started to walk towards the door. “I’m sorry too.”

Changmin felt like his feet was rooted on the floor. He could not move. It felt like he was suffocating and his heart would stop anytime sooner. He tried to plead again. “Hyung—“

Yunho squeezed his eyes shut as h twisted the door knob. He wanted to go back to Changmin’s arms. His heart was in so much pain he felt like he could not breathe. But he had to follow his feet and leave. He had to leave. He had to do it for himself. _Enough is enough._

“I’ll send Hojun-hyung tomorrow to pick my things up.”

Just like that he was gone. Yunho felt like he would collapse anytime. He laughed at his own stupidity when he realized his face was wet. He cried. He let Changmin see him cry. And he hated it. Never again. _Never again._ Good thing he had his phone on his pocket. He called Heechul to fetch him. He needed to start a new life. It would be hard but he could do it. Shim Changmin would be just how he was supposed to be from the very start. He’s just his bandmate now. That’s all should be.

Like he just lost all his energy, Changmin sagged to the floor. The pain was excruciating he wished he was numb. Tears fell like rain and then he started to laugh like crazy. He did this to himself, didn’t he? He drove Yunho away. _Yunho. Yunho. Gone._ Changmin punched the wall before he started sobbing again.  He will fix this. He swore.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody! Somebody asked me to write a prequel about Tied Ship so here it is! The sequel to Tied Ship is a lot harder to write and longer too. I'm also caught up with school stuff and since its my final year and I'm doing my internship, I have limited free time. Which means it will take some time for before I can post the sequel to Tied ship here. (If you haven't read Tied Ship yet, I recommend you read it. Its what happened after this fic but its up to you if you want to read this or that first. kekeke.) Okay so I am aware this is not an error-free fic so I'm sorry guys. I'll get better in time, I promise. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this fic. Please do tell me what you think! I'm also open for suggestions so feel free and don't be shy! Thank you lovely people! :DDDD


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